POLITE PIRATE PRACTISING PERPLEXING POSES

So, what is Bipolar Disorder you may ask?

I thought I came up with something clever to say here to only have a quick Google search to reassure me that it was completely unoriginal and worthy of getting questionable objects be thrown at me relentlessly. Yeah, I was about to say a polar bear who has an interest in both gende- 

NO WAIT DON'T THROW THAT I'M SORRY

Bipolar Disorder, or Manic Depression,  is an extreme mood swing, alternating between periods of hypomania (more on this in upcoming posts) or mania (derp), or both in my case, and depression.

No wait, did I say mood swing? I meant a flippin' mood catapult. One day you're soaring through the clouds with the Peregrine Falcons and the next - you're doomed to dwell in the deepest, darkest depth of the most dreadful dumpster .

It's like riding a roller coaster in the shape of the letter M with a conductor that's about to get fired for not reminding the riders to buckle up. He also spilled his coffee on the machinery that controls the speed causing the gears and gizmos to celebrate 4th of July. Man, he's gonna get fired so hard that he might just spontaneously combust. 

Apparently, there's no cure for it and you're pretty much stuck with it your whole life. It's not exactly the greatest feeling to know what you're having, doesn't have the pills to purge away the pain in the pooper nor the vaccine to vanquish the vile, vicious virus. But aw welparooni - I guess I'll live.

 May the uncertain promise of tomorrow bring this frown to town and make sure it has a good time. 

What is life without a few pulsating zits on its nose. They may pop up randomly without warning and ruin your day but hey - they'll be gone with time. Or maybe, I don't know, evolve into giant blobs of pus and blood. Even then, those will be gone eventually too. Maybe a scar would form but don't let that scar-e you. Put on a smile, act like you're okay and win an O-scar. The puns are running scar-ce so I guess I better scar-am (scram) like I'm a Na-scar driver and get myself some ice scar-eam.

Until then. Don't let anyone tell you that you're an avocado. Unless you like avocados and wish that people would go "Avoca-damn guuurll~" when they see you.

"Holy guacamole"


Alright, I'm avoca-done.

MENACING MICE MADE A MASSIVE MAZE

Derp

Derpity Derp McDerpDave

Since I'll be using this word for a considerable amount of time, let me just loosely put a meaning to it,

Derp is the term for when I was in a state of psychosis.

Psychosis is pretty much what the name suggests, being psychotic. From being mildly misaligned with your state of being to going completely batshit insane. I'm not talking about front-flipping-blindfolded-over-a-burning-bed-of-nails-3edgy5me insane, I'm talking about being worthy of a straitjacket insane.

A lot of people are surprised at how I'm still able to recall what happened when I was derping. I am too. I think it's because I was somewhat conscious of what I was doing and the judgments were my own. Only that, the things I did were only deemed normal by my own badly distorted perception of reality. To others, well, I looked like a bag of pistachios (get it? 'cause I was nuts lel). Like, if someone tried to convince me that pigs do fly - I would've completely bought that and proceed to explain how they exist in a distant dimension. Heck, I would have even thought that seahorses neigh and dragons knit sweaters.

And that's only the tip of the iceberg of insanity. Some of the scenarios could've baked a bouquet of purple steaks diagonally on a math theory on how bicycles inflate. Yep, the things I did made as much sense as the last sentence. 

Even worse when the delusions, the dandy and the destructive, were translated into actions. Some made people nervously laugh and question whether I'm being serious about thinking Hogwarts is real and I'm a wizard from Hufflepuff (protip: I was), some could've brought serious harm to myself and the people around me.

I am thankful, as I'm writing this, I'm considered sane. Sure. some people would tell me I'm

a little peculiar at times but only to an extent of receiving a stink-eye or a confused smirk. Nothing of serious concern. 

I just hope that Randy the Relapse Rodent won't crawl out of it's dusty little doorway and give me a gut-gushing gnaw that'll leave gnarly, gory gashes ever again. Basically, I wanna stay sane from now on end. Amin

So, that's pretty much what derp is. I'll elaborate more on what actually went down in future writings. 

Take care now. Don't let anyone tell you that your choice of bread spread is inferior.

INITIAL INTRO INTO THIS INTRICATE ILLUSION

So,

I have Bipolar Disorder Type 1

Or Manic Depression. Or the Jekyll and Hyde. Or the Severe Sanity Swing. Or the Gregory Schwartznitz Syndrome. I have no idea who the hell the last guy is and I totally made that up. But that Gregory guy sounds like a sophisticated old man with groomed, snow white hair who has an unhealthy obsession for lawn gnomes and ancient poetry that has thou, thee, shalt, thine, maketh in em'. He wears a monocle to his weekly chess matches at the local park too.

I think I've been a bipolarian (made that up, sounds pretty nifty ay?) for about 5-6 years now. It's been a surreal spiral of the utmost ups and the deepest downs. A roller coaster that someone with a burning desire to see planet Earth implode on itself created on Rollercoaster Tycoon.

It was life-changing.

It was like wearing clean socks all your life, and suddenly stepping into a muddy puddle.

In this blog, I will try to recall and recollect all my past experiences, be it unsettling or uplifting, From my psychotic episodes to the meds I've been on, the shitty side effects to my recoveries and relapses and all that neat stuff . And maybe even a few stories on Gregory Shwartnitz.

So I'll see ya later I guess.